I love America. I really do.. Brilliant artists like Amanda Palmer can be so tongue-and-cheek accurate about how crazy society can be.
She dedicated her latest video - Oasis - to our beloved Lady Of Frozen Tundra (and Heart -- and probably netherbits too) -- Sarah Palin.
She dedicated her latest video - Oasis - to our beloved Lady Of Frozen Tundra (and Heart -- and probably netherbits too) -- Sarah Palin.
Apparently, John really IS a gay man now.
And my scoring:
Costuming: 4 -- if you're going to wear that little, why not just take it all off.
Dancing: 7 -- Shake like a Polaroid.
Ability to Conflagrate in a 5x5 area: 10 -- I'm impressed he didn't hit anything.
Ability to Not Eat Sandwhiches: 10 -- Hello, Karen Carpenter, we've missed you.
Ability to Get the Color of Cantaloupe on Your Wall: 10 -- Um. Good job. And why?
And my scoring:
Costuming: 4 -- if you're going to wear that little, why not just take it all off.
Dancing: 7 -- Shake like a Polaroid.
Ability to Conflagrate in a 5x5 area: 10 -- I'm impressed he didn't hit anything.
Ability to Not Eat Sandwhiches: 10 -- Hello, Karen Carpenter, we've missed you.
Ability to Get the Color of Cantaloupe on Your Wall: 10 -- Um. Good job. And why?
I've been dramatic as of late. Emotionally dramatic. But i pretty much keep that to myself. One of those I want to be loved, but god dammit, everyone's a total fucker. Ya know? Hatez them all, we do. And so I've just sorta stuck to myself. Self-invovled as always.
But i found two little videos -- one is Yaz (who is having a reunion), and the other is Keane. Both below.
And on that note. I'm off to bed.
But i found two little videos -- one is Yaz (who is having a reunion), and the other is Keane. Both below.
2007 was filled with nothing much but Lindsey Lohan, Brittney Spears, and Paris Hilton. I mean, where would we be as a modern civilization without the media?
I joke. Completely.
2007 was a smattering of good and bad for me. Well, actually, i guess in that sense, 2007 really wasn't that different from 2006 or 2005 or 2004 other than having fewer kidney stones to report on (which is a blessing in its own right). So -- here are some lessons from 2007.
1. Movie musicals seem to be making a come back! Hairspray, Across the Universe, Sweeney Todd ... Hot damn! Granted, all of the them were less than stellar, but each shone in its own unique way -- and I'm still pleased as punch as to see the musical genre beginning to thrive again. And look what we have to look forward to 2008.... Mamma Mia .... Repo! The Genetic Opera .... (Watching that Mamma Mia trailer actually made me feel 20% more gay.)
2. Not everyone sticks around forever. But you know what does? Fat. I haven't been able to lose this extra 20 pounds for the life of me. Tried the gym. Tried eating craptastically yukky frozen meals. Even tried sucking in and looking in the mirror and telling myself it's just water weight.
3. Tina Turner was right all along ... what does love got to do with it?
4. When buying a new house, just assume from the start that everyone is lying to you until you actually have something on paper. And even then, consider the possibility that it's a lie and that the mortgage and insurance people openly mock you behind your back.
5. Just because you don't know certain fees and taxes exist doesn't mean you don't have to pay them.
6. When going furniture shopping, pretend like you're talking on your cell phone when you walk in to avoid the pounce from those insidious salesmen.
7, You don't really have to be 31 if you don't want to be. 28 works just as well.
8. Being gay doesn't mean that you're going to end up being a single, sad, old spinster. Just kidding.
9. When you fall in love it seems like it could last forever. But usually it's really for just about a month.
10. Sometimes the things that we wish for are not to be touched...
11. Don't eat Burger King's Cheesy Bites unless you want to spend your nite shitting out your liver.
12. It's a terrible feeling having to console someone's heartache when they're blind to your affection.
13. Hostess is stopping making Twinkie's in 2008, so stock up.
14. Commercial radio just flat out sucks. If I have to hear that goddam Soulja Boy crap one more time I'm gonna cut myself.
15. Never shit in a cup on a video. It will end up on the interwebs.
16. Torrents and Pirate Bay are bad, m'kay?
17. Highlights really DO hide gray hair.
18. Always wear panties to cover your cooch when wearing short, tight dresses.
19. Sometimes all the focus, concentration, and talent in the world isn't going to solve your problem. And when it comes to that, I'm sure there's a pill that will help.
20. You really never can have enough hats, gloves, and shoes.
So there you go, my 20 lessons from 2007 -- at least that I can think of for now. It IS late afterall, and I've been drinking champaign and pomegranate juice. And tomorrow, i get to take my tree down. (Makes me feel like I should play Christmas music backwards . At least it's supposed to be ass cold tomorrow. Makes for a good stay-at-home day. :)
I joke. Completely.
2007 was a smattering of good and bad for me. Well, actually, i guess in that sense, 2007 really wasn't that different from 2006 or 2005 or 2004 other than having fewer kidney stones to report on (which is a blessing in its own right). So -- here are some lessons from 2007.
1. Movie musicals seem to be making a come back! Hairspray, Across the Universe, Sweeney Todd ... Hot damn! Granted, all of the them were less than stellar, but each shone in its own unique way -- and I'm still pleased as punch as to see the musical genre beginning to thrive again. And look what we have to look forward to 2008.... Mamma Mia .... Repo! The Genetic Opera .... (Watching that Mamma Mia trailer actually made me feel 20% more gay.)
2. Not everyone sticks around forever. But you know what does? Fat. I haven't been able to lose this extra 20 pounds for the life of me. Tried the gym. Tried eating craptastically yukky frozen meals. Even tried sucking in and looking in the mirror and telling myself it's just water weight.
3. Tina Turner was right all along ... what does love got to do with it?
4. When buying a new house, just assume from the start that everyone is lying to you until you actually have something on paper. And even then, consider the possibility that it's a lie and that the mortgage and insurance people openly mock you behind your back.
5. Just because you don't know certain fees and taxes exist doesn't mean you don't have to pay them.
6. When going furniture shopping, pretend like you're talking on your cell phone when you walk in to avoid the pounce from those insidious salesmen.
7, You don't really have to be 31 if you don't want to be. 28 works just as well.
8. Being gay doesn't mean that you're going to end up being a single, sad, old spinster. Just kidding.
9. When you fall in love it seems like it could last forever. But usually it's really for just about a month.
10. Sometimes the things that we wish for are not to be touched...
11. Don't eat Burger King's Cheesy Bites unless you want to spend your nite shitting out your liver.
12. It's a terrible feeling having to console someone's heartache when they're blind to your affection.
13. Hostess is stopping making Twinkie's in 2008, so stock up.
14. Commercial radio just flat out sucks. If I have to hear that goddam Soulja Boy crap one more time I'm gonna cut myself.
15. Never shit in a cup on a video. It will end up on the interwebs.
16. Torrents and Pirate Bay are bad, m'kay?
17. Highlights really DO hide gray hair.
18. Always wear panties to cover your cooch when wearing short, tight dresses.
19. Sometimes all the focus, concentration, and talent in the world isn't going to solve your problem. And when it comes to that, I'm sure there's a pill that will help.
20. You really never can have enough hats, gloves, and shoes.
So there you go, my 20 lessons from 2007 -- at least that I can think of for now. It IS late afterall, and I've been drinking champaign and pomegranate juice. And tomorrow, i get to take my tree down. (Makes me feel like I should play Christmas music backwards . At least it's supposed to be ass cold tomorrow. Makes for a good stay-at-home day. :)
I hate when I read the news, and I get so flustered by what I read that I feel pretty much forced to vent via my blog.
Today's Headline:
And the sentence that did it for me:
(As a side note, I honestly don't trust the Iranian leadership. Any government who says they want to wipe another country off the map should be watched closely. I don't argue that fact. But Bush is a shit-stirrer. Imposing yet more sanctions are not going to help the situation. The report today says that Iran hasn't bad a nuclear program since 2003. Rather than offering an apology, he just "they're still just a dangerous." And perhaps they are. But we are civil people operating in a "free" country. Be polite, yet stern. Admit there were mistakes and offer to amend those mistakes. Duh.)
Today's Headline:
Bush: Nuke-less Iran remains dangerous
And the sentence that did it for me:
The latest estimate shows "Iran needs to be taken seriously as a threat to peace," Bush said.I don't know about you, but I'm thinking our biggest threat to world peace is Bush.
(As a side note, I honestly don't trust the Iranian leadership. Any government who says they want to wipe another country off the map should be watched closely. I don't argue that fact. But Bush is a shit-stirrer. Imposing yet more sanctions are not going to help the situation. The report today says that Iran hasn't bad a nuclear program since 2003. Rather than offering an apology, he just "they're still just a dangerous." And perhaps they are. But we are civil people operating in a "free" country. Be polite, yet stern. Admit there were mistakes and offer to amend those mistakes. Duh.)
The holidays are such a crazy time of the year. It seems like Christmas (etc.) tends to either make people a little nicer or a little bit bitchier. I'd like to think I stay middle of the road. But over the past few days, I've seen some sad things.
Over Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's, my cousin's friend and her father showed up while we were eating. It was explained to me that his wife just left him and told him she wanted a divorce over the phone, and packed up her stuff and left them all. She was going to actually do this on his birthday, but I guess she got impatient. So they were really happy about life.
It was sad, really. He was very quiet, seemed embarrassed. His daughter seemed to do all the talking. The highlight of the conversation went like this: "Yah, we have a list of places to go today. Everyone's been inviting us over because they feel sorry for us." The room went rather quiet after that.
And tonite, I stopped at Subway to grab something to eat. The radio was playing Christmas music, and the two high school-aged boys who were there looked less than enthralled to be working. So the one guy was making my sandwhich and he's all "do they make you listen to this where you work?" And I said, "Only if I put it on." And I continued, "I take it you don't really like the Christmas music." And he says, "It's driving me crazy. I hate it."
And yet -- I've found myself listening to Christmas music almost all day today. I think it must be the cold weather. It's 45 out right now. Gotta love that.
Over Thanksgiving dinner at my aunt's, my cousin's friend and her father showed up while we were eating. It was explained to me that his wife just left him and told him she wanted a divorce over the phone, and packed up her stuff and left them all. She was going to actually do this on his birthday, but I guess she got impatient. So they were really happy about life.
It was sad, really. He was very quiet, seemed embarrassed. His daughter seemed to do all the talking. The highlight of the conversation went like this: "Yah, we have a list of places to go today. Everyone's been inviting us over because they feel sorry for us." The room went rather quiet after that.
And tonite, I stopped at Subway to grab something to eat. The radio was playing Christmas music, and the two high school-aged boys who were there looked less than enthralled to be working. So the one guy was making my sandwhich and he's all "do they make you listen to this where you work?" And I said, "Only if I put it on." And I continued, "I take it you don't really like the Christmas music." And he says, "It's driving me crazy. I hate it."
And yet -- I've found myself listening to Christmas music almost all day today. I think it must be the cold weather. It's 45 out right now. Gotta love that.
Over the past few days I've been trying to watch what I eat because I had a really bad weekend that basically consisted of a pan of homemade cheese rolls (like cinnamon rolls, but with a cheddar cheese filling). My bowels regretted that in a most serious way.
But over the past few days I've made a conscious effort to limit my fat and calorie intake. If I can keep my fat intake under 30gm of fat and my calorie intake under 2,000 (and go to the gym on top of that), I should be ok, right? RIGHT!?
Well, until I went to Chili's today and ordered the Honey Chipotle Crispers with Chipotle Sauce, assload of fries, and a butter-soaked corn on the cob. Right after I ordered it, David informed that this particular dish made the list of "Top 10 Worst Foods In a Chain Restaurant" poll. Why? Here's why:
So I ate a few fries and 5 of the 6 chicken pieces. (And, of course, they were d'lish.) But now I can feel my insides sliding around on the industrial lube that my body has now absorbed and likely integrated into my base DNA.
Looks like no dinner (or breakfast tomorrow) for me. A little less binge, a little more purge.
But over the past few days I've made a conscious effort to limit my fat and calorie intake. If I can keep my fat intake under 30gm of fat and my calorie intake under 2,000 (and go to the gym on top of that), I should be ok, right? RIGHT!?
Well, until I went to Chili's today and ordered the Honey Chipotle Crispers with Chipotle Sauce, assload of fries, and a butter-soaked corn on the cob. Right after I ordered it, David informed that this particular dish made the list of "Top 10 Worst Foods In a Chain Restaurant" poll. Why? Here's why:
- 2,040 calories
- 99 grams of fat
- 240 carbs
So I ate a few fries and 5 of the 6 chicken pieces. (And, of course, they were d'lish.) But now I can feel my insides sliding around on the industrial lube that my body has now absorbed and likely integrated into my base DNA.
Looks like no dinner (or breakfast tomorrow) for me. A little less binge, a little more purge.
Upon returning from the gym, you continue listening to the playlist you made of Shirley Bassey, Petula Clark, Tammy Wynette, Lesley Gore, Gloria Gaynor and the like.
I showered this evening so I could go to bed clean and lovely. I got out and heard the music from the parking lot behind my house. Well, not really music -- just bass. It gets a little irritating, but it eventually stops.
Well tonite the music continued.
And is still continuing.
Except -- it's not coming from the parking lot. It's coming from next door. Next door as in, the other half of my house.
I had been wondering as of late if someone bought the property because they took the "Available" sign down -- but no one ever moved in. Then I saw blinds put up in the windows -- but no furniture, and all the lights were on.
Well tonite -- I walked out and sure enough -- there are two cars outside -- one in the driveway, the other in the road. Perhaps I will have the joy of meeting the Jones' tomorrow. I supposed banging on the wall would be a bad first step in being a good neighbor.
At least we don't share a washer/dryer.
Well tonite the music continued.
And is still continuing.
Except -- it's not coming from the parking lot. It's coming from next door. Next door as in, the other half of my house.
I had been wondering as of late if someone bought the property because they took the "Available" sign down -- but no one ever moved in. Then I saw blinds put up in the windows -- but no furniture, and all the lights were on.
Well tonite -- I walked out and sure enough -- there are two cars outside -- one in the driveway, the other in the road. Perhaps I will have the joy of meeting the Jones' tomorrow. I supposed banging on the wall would be a bad first step in being a good neighbor.
At least we don't share a washer/dryer.
