the things you miss

Two entries in one day ... WATCH OUT!

I had a busy weekend this last weekend. I did a lot of work and school work, but I also went out both Friday and Saturday nights with my lovely friend Wanda. It's always a guaranteed good time with her.

So -- Friday nite went to Guava Lamp, a place I usually go on karaoke Wednesdays or Sundays. But we just wanted to drink and chill, so we went to Guava and just people watched for a good while. So I'm two glasses of wine into the nite, and I'm watching some video for god only knows what, and Wanda is like "hey, who is that freako staring at you?" -- I move my eyes slightly down and to the left and there ... to my horror ... was Logan -- staring at me with his stupid grin -- and all I could say was "Ah fuck. It's Logan." I sorta kind'a sorta waved -- an obviously hesitant wave.

He never came over to talk, which is very good. I wasn't prepared for such an encounter, and Wanda was like "He is SO not going to come over here." I know she would have staged an appropriate intervention if he had.

He watched me most of the night -- and to be honest, I watched him most of the nite as well. He wasn't with anyone, just being a floater, talking to people here and there, drinking his usual (extra) dirty martini.

He was such an ass. Hurt me a whole hella lot. A WHOLE lot. But at the same time, he made me realize a lot about myself, that I needed to step up to some stuff, and I would like to think that I have. I'm a much better/different person that the fool that fell for him.

But ... of course ... seeing him made my stomach leap and get lodged in my throat. It's been two years... and he looks exactly the same (which I still find rather attractive.) I sorta miss him a bit, I guess - at least the part befor he was an asshole. But then I think about his family and realize that I really have no need to have him or anyone associated with him in my life.

But I still think about him on occassion... moreso now that I've actually seen him again. *le sigh* (but not *le sigh* in a bad way.) LOL