Mormons, Mormons Everywhere...

PBS is in the middle of showing a special on the Mormon religion called "The Mormons." It's a two-parter. The first half, which aired last nite, was about the origins of the religion and the beginning history of the church from the story of Joseph Smith through Polygamy. I was surprised how the documentary was presented. It seemed pretty unbiased and relied predominantly on interviews with historians, sociologists, biographers, and members of the LDS leadership as commentary. It was not anti-Mormon, not was it pro-Mormon; it simply told the story of the Mormon church, its persecution, and its beliefs.

Everyone who knows me knows that I was raised Mormon. I never really grabbed ahold of the beliefs and made them my own -- I think my nature is a bit too skeptical for that. But my father and his side of the family is very active in the Mormon church, and so I was also involved. I even went on a mission (to Brazil and New Jersey).

It was after my little jaunt as a missionary that I realized how much I despise religion. Not theology or spirituality. Religion. Religion is the organization of people who share somewhat common beliefs and organize themselves to build upon these beliefs. The question is -- what do they build and who does it benefit? Obviously, in order for a group of people to meet in a single location, there is planning and financial things that need to be taken care of. So part of religion is a business -- finding a way to make money to cover the necessary expenses and (perhaps) pay those who run the organization. They grow the religion by gaining converts who provide money via offerings, thus increasing the overall profit and income. It seems today's churches are much more interested in the Profit than the Prophet (damn translations). So aside from the financial aspect, the other part of religion is sharing the beliefs and converting people. The Mormon church is out full-force with the missionaries, and there are some of the leaders who lose sight of what the purpose is.

The mission presidents (some of them -- not all) see these young boys as worker bees out to provide for the hive. It doesn't matter what has to happen as long as they meet their pollen quotas. Numbers, numbers, numbers. It drove me crazy. The mission president was not concerned about the spiritual well-fare of the boys under his watch (which was overly obvious by the mission meetings). And that is when I first began to have a bad taste in my mouth.

I was not a popular boy with the mission president. I questioned a lot. Disagreed a lot with the way things were run and how situations where handled. I was (thankfully) eventually sent home for medical reasons. After I was home, I continued to go to church for several weeks as I was expected to. But as soon as I got a job and was on my own, I quit. I had horrible memories and such disgust for the mission presidency and organization that I just couldn't handle sitting through meetings.

And ever since then, I have not actively participated in the Mormon faith. Contrary to some peoples' thoughts, I did not leave the church because I'm gay. I left because I disagree with the human organization of the religion. The dogma was ok for the most part, and I loved that the church encouraged its members to search on their own for answers, establish a personal relationship with God, and make their spirituality their own.

The Book of Mormon was provided as a means for increased understanding. The origin of the Book of Mormon is interesting, and as far as I can logically discern is no less true than the Bible. The temple stuff is a little weird, and I'm not sure I agree with all aspects of it. It's not something i really embraced -- but then again, the temple kind'a came about late in my life, a few years before I quit going. So i don't have the whole solid foundation for that to be a core part of my belief structure.

But as a whole, the Mormon dogma and theology -- minus the organization -- is a good thing, and I would certainly recommend anyone who is interested to study it. I will never go back to the church, however. I am so disheartened by the organization that it would take a considerable change of heart for that to happen.

I really don't know where I'm going with all this. Prolly just need to get it out. Perhaps, as it used to be, religious thought is something I fall back on when things in my life aren't going quite like i would want them to go. Man often falls back on thoughts of God when there are problems.
So I'm eager to see the next part of the documentary tonite. And I believe the next three nights will have a documentary on Atheism, which will also be interesting to see (or at least to Tivo.)