August 2007 Archives
Sure, if you have 17 kids. I live alone, and I go to the grocery store like ... once a month, unless I need something special like hemorrhoid cream or denture adhesive. (btw, I actually had to look up how to spell hemorrhoid, and at work i have my search engine set to image search by default. Can I just say that i DON'T recommend doing that image search...) Anyway ... now that I have completely grossed myself out, i digress.
The news story I read said this:
If it brings comfort to you, use the non-generic packaging at home. Something my mother used to do to reduce complaints in the morning is put generic cereal in the name brand box. I didn't realize this for years, but if I didn't actually witness my mother buying the cereal at the store, it was usually the generic form in the name brand box.
People, do not be THAT cheap. I mean, telling kid's there's a Santa Clause, an Easter Bunny, and some crazy fairy who comes in at night to collect teeth (for real, who comes up with this shit?) is one thing -- but making your kid eat nastiness, pretending it's absolutely yums is just cruel and you should be ashamed.
I'm a lonely little pube sitting on the urinal lip.
I see your wee and taste your pee,
But i only get a sip.
But down here in my porcelain world I get so lonely and sad.
I think of the times I was back at home, nestled up to my mother and dad.
Now the swirl of the flush, and that urinal brush are all that i get to see.
So won't you please come and visit me soon, I like to watch you pee.
Fin.
Anyway, just a test post to make sure it all comes out ok. Don't need to break out the ex-lax for ye olde blog.
Apparently I am just absolutely too lazy to write anything these days.... All I do is work out using Body Flex....
Yah, so saturday was my tri-monthly (wait, is that 3-times a month?) hair-coloring. I decided to be a little brash and ballsy and go with a good bleaching. I had recently been reading about anal bleaching and I thought, "Hmmm, maybe I should try that."
I joke. I'm not even sure why people (unless you're a porn star or just like to show people your star hole -- and I know there are people out there who do...) would want to have their anus bleached. I mean, I suppose if it's funky and like ... purple or something ... but i digress.
The thought of bleaching made me think -- oh hai, i shuld bleech mah hairz!
And so I told Missy, let's go blonde.
The problem is ... my hair doesn't go blonde. I'm a red-head after all. It goes ... well. Look:
It goes yellow. (But fabulously yellow, if I may say so.)
So i've been using this fun "walnut" shampoo that leaves traces of color in my hair to tint it to whatever color I want -- in this case, brown. BUT. Apparently, the primary pigment in the shampoo is red (or orange, or whatever), and my hair is becoming slightly more vibrant with every usage.
Is it professional? No, not really. Do I regret it? Not at all. Am I famous yet? Nope. Has it caused a mass influx of illegal immigrants into the US? Most likely. But hey -- what can I do? I must sacrifice... After all, it's fashion.
I love Wing. Always have. Not that I need her to sing that often...just on occasion.
