Uncategorized: October 2004 Archives
Girl 1: Mom said the school is closed today because it's flooded, and there's feces everywhere!
Girl 2: What are feces?
Girl 1: Baby mice.
Girl 2 & 3: Awwww...
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Look everyone, it's Halloween. It's Halloween and it's 85 degrees out. Yay. Glad I'm not one of those brats running around outside in over-priced cheap costumes. I will be in the nicely air-conditioned air -- working on some Option9 project. How's that for a scare.
Anyway -- for halloween, gay it up a little will ya?
It's almost Halloween, duh, and all the staff and faculty at UTMB (in the school of nursing) were encouraged to dress up. Well, I was like "uhh, no. I don't really dress up." So I decided I'd just gay it up a bit. I painted my finger nails chrome and donned a realy "fun" pair of kind'a fuzzy-fur-like pants. Of course, you can't see that in the pictures -- but that's ok. I took an extra-gay picture just to delight and fancify your Friday.
Alex is my friend/coworker. We are SO silly together and we have way too much fun at work. We play well together -- usually at others' expense. But that's part of being fun and fabulous right?
Bingo.
I have lived on my own now for the past 4 or 5 years. I've moved from 3 different apartments (two in the same complex), but I think I've finally come to make a home where I am now (well, as much as an apartment can be a *home*, and not just a domicile.) But a monumental event has happened. I have finally had to reorder checks. The fact that I pay 95% of my bills online means I don't have to write checks, and so I never bothered changing my address. However, now that my mother has moved to a new address, and I live on my own, I should probably change that.
So I did some researching online, cuz I just have to have cool checks. My checks right now are some zen thing with a water drop and a little bonsai tree, and some god awful flower (I always hate giving that check to people, cuz it's not obviously a zen thing, and I know they think I'm the fruitiest person alive). But I found an awesome deal kids. Check it out. With the promotional code MWE202 (entered when you check out), I got two boxes of single checks for like $11. They're normally $25. Can't beat that, yo. And check out the design. I'm so excited!
It reminds me of when I went to see the Magic Flute at the Houston Grand Opera. The set was designed by the same author -- Maurice Sendak. Brilliant art work.
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Well, I participated in my first election today. I've never voted before -- never been politically-minded (my family was never really politically-minded either). But after witnessing the damaging effects of Hurrican Bush on our economy, I thought I needed to do my part in the rebuilding of America.
So, I stood outside in the early-voting line this morning for 45 minutes and placed my vote. As I arrived, there was a line of people outside the building (beside the voting line) and they were handing out flyers and such for candiates -- all of whom were republican (not that's a bad thing). Terrible Tom was one of them, as was George Bush. The first one that was handed to me was the George Bush, and I stopped, turned around and laughed and said "LOL, no. I don't want that," and I gave it back to him. I declined the remaining handouts. The building I stood next too had a concrete ledge around it at shoulder height. People had been placing their unwanted flyers on there. As I stood in line, the woman behind me was collecting the George Bush flyers, crumpling them up, and throwing them on the ground to be trod upon by all. I glanced at her and laughed in appreciation and she said "That's where they belong."
I think it's funny how passionate people can get about this. Such hate -- such devotion. It's really amazing to me.
I hope everyone goes out and votes -- be it for Kerry or Bush -- just vote. Of course, I'd hope you'd vote for anyone other than Bush -- but vote nonetheless.
I have not felt much like venturing out today in pursuit of nurishment. (I've been holed away in my cubicle tapping my head to defeat the craving for food -- but alas, it did not work. I do have a slight headache tho. Perhaps my craving was not specific enough. Or perhaps it wasn't so much as a craving as it was my body telling me I'm starving to death.)
Anyway, I saunter down to the little "cafeteria" thing on the first floor which is void of all human but 3 black women and 2 black men -- and me, a gay white boy. I order my little pasta bar thing and am waiting patiently while the man cooks it (read: re-warms). The 3 black girls get into this conversaton where they're calling each other "gigalo."
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but a gigalo is typically used in reference to a man, no? More specifically a "playa." So is this sorta like when fags go "Oh girl, you did NOT!"?
I was bemused and befuddled such a cultural complexity. Please, can come help me understand?
I was blog jumping today, and I ended up on this really eccentric energy healer woman's blog. I honestly didn't read a lot of it because she used big words, and quite frankly, I wasn't in the mood for a vocabulary lesson. But I managed to read this one about how she went to the grocery store to buy some nuts, and the store had rearranged everything so that the pop-tarts were next to the nuts. Apparently this woman had mad cravings for pop-tarts.
She was explaining how you can tap your temporal lobe (which apparently is above your left and right ear) for like 30-45 seconds and the craving will go away. And that the more intense the craving, more satisifying it is when the craving is removed.
So -- in other words, you beat yourself till you're not hungry any more. Picture me, at HEB, standing in front of the cookies tapping my head with my finger for a minute and a half. People would surely think I was either retarded or autistic and try to medicate me. When -- in reality -- I could simply walk away from the cookies, and lo and behold -- the craving ceases.
It amazes me the crap people do. Just use logic people. You don't need some energy healing to stop eating Pop-Tarts. Geez.
"Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell." -- Joan Crawford
If that isn't the fucking truth. Shame I can't buy fire insurance.
As I mentioned earlier, I have been in a rather different frame of mind lately. Patience may be a virtue, but I don't have a lot of it, it seems -- at least not for the past week. I've been very shorty and pissy, but not for any main reason. Actually, I think I'll just do some venting about some things on my mind.
1. Someone needs to inform baby Jesus that summer is over and 94 degree temperatures are not acceptable for this time of year. I do not live in Guam. I want Autumn, with leaves, and brisk winds. Not 98% humidity and blanketing fog.
2. IF you are offered a job at UTMB doing the same thing I do (same position title) do not bitch about what an insult it is at the pay they offered you, and proceed to explain that "sure I can understand giving that to someone who's 25, but giving it to someone in their 50s in disgusting." Bitch, I can design circles around you -- and you had the gall to say in your interview -- which we all heard, by the way, -- that you are 80% proficient in Flash when you couldn't even convert a damn PowerPoint presentation to Flash WHEN IT DOES IT FOR YOU!? Stupid bitch. You should stay as a temp. Maybe if you quit smoking and drinking a 12-pack of Mountain Dew a day, quit with the two ice cream runs and non-stop eating through out the day, you could afford the pay they offered.
3. Whatever happened to Information Society? Everyone else is making a comeback, why aren't they. I mean, if I have to drudge through Duran Duran's comeback, at least throw in someone cool. Information Society was awesome and cutting edge back in 198...yah. in the 80s. I bet they could create some great shit now.
4. Why do I still have dreams that make me wince? You ever wish you had just NEVER met someone? I do. I do right now, as a matter of fact.
5. Why can't the world be a happy and loving place full of joy and glee? But no, we have to have people who say biting things and upset us and make us do things that are just sad to jesus. People just aren't what they once used to be.
coin operated boy
sitting on the shelf he is just a toy
but i turn him on and he comes to life
automatic joy
that is why i want a coin operated boy
made of plastic and elastic
he is rugged and long-lasting
who could ever ever ask for more
love without complications galore
many shapes and weights to choose from
i will never leave my bedroom
i will never cry at night again
wrap my arms around him and pretend....
coin operated boy
all the other real ones that i destroy
cannot hold a candle to my new boy and i'll
never let him go and i'll never be alone
not with my coin operated boy......
this bridge was written to make you feel smittener
with my sad picture of girl getting bitterer
can you extract me from my plastic fantasy
i didnt think so but im still convinceable
will you persist even after i bet you
a billion dollars that i'll never love you
will you persist even after i kiss you
goodbye for the last time
will you keep on trying to prove it?
i'm dying to lose it...
i want it
i want you
i want a coin operated boy.
and if i had a star to wish on
for my life i cant imagine
any flesh and blood could be his match
i can even take him in the bath
coin operated boy
he may not be real experienced with girls
but i know he feels like a boy should feel
isnt that the point that is why i want a
coin operated boy
with his pretty coin operated voice
saying that he loves me that hes thinking of me
straight and to the point
that is why i want
a coin operated boy
A lot has been going on in my mind lately it would seem. I went out on Friday nite with a bunch of friends to the typical gay stomping grounds in Houston. We started at Meteor, then to O, then to JRs, then back to O. I had a chance to do a lot of people watching (as we were positioned at a table RIGHT next to a stripper who kept talking to Michael-gurl). And ya know, as the night progressed on, I really became agitated with what I saw. I honestly don't think I've ever been in a room full of so many self-absorbed people, being from them looking to get their mack on, their Prada shoes, perfect tan, snow-white teeth, Diesel jeans ... you get my drift.
Why does gay social culture have to be so shallow and materialistic. Now, of course, I'm not talking about everyone -- and chances are, if you're reading this, you're NOT one of them.
I was discussing my feelings on this topic with a very valuable friend of mine (and wise old man) over IM today and here is how his views went:
Me: i am just very disenchanted with gay culture -- in a social sense.
Me: i'm a homosexual, but not really gay.
Him: I with ya mah brutha.
Me: i just don't know what's wrong with people.
Me: :(
Me: /dishearten
Me: values and sensibilities ... seems they just dont exist
Me: i mean if we could take the passion for name brands and fashion that exists in four gay bars and put it towards a social problem -- just think where we'd be today?
Him: better yet... what if we all talked about how shallow we are as gay people to the point where everyone was disgusted by our choices and behaviors. That would carry through to stop social problems from forming.
Me: i thought that was what Pride Parades were for.
Me: lol
Him: no. those were to celebrate being diverse and different.
Him: now it's to show off you new DG belt and Prada shoes.
Me: right
Him: and to mock those people who only shop at the Gap.
Me: aww, i like Gap.
Me: how many people would have to talk out tho to make a change?
Him: a lot.
Me: and is that just of gay people?
Him: and it's more than just a gay thing.
Me: or people in general
Him: it's an American thing.
Me: i can see that
Him: we are all shallow.
Him: in many many ways
Him: that we all continue to ignore because we are lazy and have no desire to change our status quo --
Me: i think i've realized that lately.
Him: but the problem is so very deep seeded.
Him: I mean you can't even begin to touch or resolve the problem without looking at yourself. And once you do that... you realize how you are being a hypocrite in so MANY ways.
Him: at that point... where do you stop?
Me: well i think you have to turn your actions
Him: no -- but I mean
Me: ie -- faith without works is dead
Him: once you start taking a look at yourself and questioning your practices in order to be an example of the kind of person you want to other to be --
Him: where do you stop?
Him: once you are fully clothed in non 3rd world children created clothes eating NO meat NO dairy, making sure to protest big corporations in America, the ensuing corporate globalizaiton and taking time to cry for every person that dies in this world unjustly.
Him: and if you don't happen to do one appropriately... then you are a hypocrite.
Me: i see what you mean
Him: so where do you stop?
Him: better question:
Him: where do you stop in changing yourself to be a person fit to tell others how they need to change.
Him: without falling short of measuring up to what you are preaching?
Him: slippery slope yo
Him: :-|
Me: so we just don't do anythign?
Him: I don't know about that.
Him: lol
Him: I don't have the answer to that. Anyway you attempt to answer that can be contrued as being either heartless and inhuman or just a psycho liberal.
Him: and anything in between is still a little bit of both.
Him: so it just sucks
Him: I mean.. .
Him: it's heartless to say "You are only one person and can do so much"
Him: is it not?
Me: its honest.
Him: yeah. and very realistic.
Him: but doesn't it break your heart to know that is the reality what we live in?
Him: and that someone is dying or starving because of it?
Me: absolutely.
Him: :-(
Me: but we can't just sit and do nothing.
Me: i'd rather be a hypocrite doing SOME good than a wishful hypoocrite doing nothing
Him: sadly, it doesn't stir me enough to give up all of my possessions and lifestyle choices to make a real difference.
Me: right.
Me: i'm not about to quite dairy products.
Me: i'll have kidney stones galore
Me: meat, i could probably manage.
Him: so I will continue living and working in the same machine that I hate, that provides me with what I call a decent life.
Me: well, i need to give something back.
So anyone got an suggestions on how to make a better tomorrow?
I have decided to start a fundraising campaign to raise $500 for a charitable association that encourages creative expression in children. I've been feeling like I haven't been giving back enough to the world, and after a dream (which I'll mention more of in a bit), I felt this was a prime opportunity to pick a charity and encourage others to give a little as well.
I chose the charity "Create Now!" because they are 100% non-profit, and the work they do is working with children is a step in the right direction for providing needy and troubled kids with a outlet for creative expression. This is done by pairing the kids up with a creative mentor from a field in which the child has shown interest.
This dream I had the other nite was about a kid, Matthew, that I used to watch when I was doing volunteer work at a day care in Pasadena, Texas. The kid was the sweetest little boy I think I've ever met -- but -- his mother was an alcoholic prostitute. Neglect was a common part of home life ... and it broke my heart. This dream about Matthew refreshed my memory of his situation and planted the motivation to help.
So, my goal is to raise a minimum of $500 for the Create Now! organization by Christmas 2004. This seems very dooable. If every person who visits my website in a month were to give a simple $1 donation, we could EASILY double or triple that goal. So please, if you have an extra dollar or two, consider donating to this cause. Thanks!
Ya know -- I am so fed up with all this halloween bullshit going on. Sure, it's on Sunday this year. Whoop-de-doo. I was reading CNN and there was a front-page article about how people are freaking out cuz Halloween falls on a Sunday this year. Here is the best quote in the article:
"You just don't do it on Sunday," said Sandra Hulsey of Greenville, Georgia. "That's Christ's day. You go to church on Sunday, you don't go out and celebrate the devil. That'll confuse a child."I'm sorry, it is hardly so black and white. And honestly, how often is Halloween visibly portraying the celebration of the devil? I mean, do you see people burning babies scream "Praise Lucifer!"!? No, I don't think so. And I'm from the South (they may burn crosses, but never a baby).
Social presentation of holidays is really starting to piss me off. Everything is completely blown out of proportion and misconstrued. I mean Christmas ... Halloween ... Thanksgiving ... It seems like the only holiday that still does what it is supposed to do is New Year's -- but that's pretty hard to fuck up. Well, that and Valentine's day. Leave it to America to get the two holidays right that involve booze and sex. Score one for America.
So, Ms. Sandra Hulsey, I think there are plenty of other things out there you should more concerned about that whether or not your child gets confused on Halloween. And, love, if your child does start to confuse Christ with celebrating Satan, you might want to look at the church you attend, cuz it doesn't sound like their message is very clear.
Have a Happy Halloween!
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Yup -- it's foto-friday! Hooray! No special photoshop crap today. Just me lookever ever-so adorable. :)
I wasn't feeling well again last nite. My stomach was still 16 kinds of uncomfortable, despite the fact that I took some Pepto (Cherry flavored -- it's not bad, you should try it!) and a Zantac. I thought, "Well, maybe I'm just hungry." It's hard to tell when your stomach feels like ass.
Michael-gurl and Glorene came over, and Glorene was hungry -- so we opted to go to IHOP because I figured I could handle me some pancakes. (For the record, in hindsight, I don't like IHOP pancakes.) So we're sitting at the booth, in the same booth we're always put in -- it must be the *gay* booth -- and we're all talking, la la la. There are two women and boy (maybe 10 years old?) sitting at the table behind us, and it was fairly obvious to me that one of the women was a lesbian.
Well, I called my mom to find out if I was having kidney failure or what, and these women get up to leave. The one obvious lesbian comes up to our table walks over to me (while I'm on the phone) and gives me a hug. She said "I just want to say that's it's so good to see young family out in Clear Lake." And we talked briefly about her partner, etc. It was really nice -- and totally caught me off guard. I've never met a lesbian who was so nice. And her sweater was sooo soft!
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I thought I would share the latest music collection I put together. This is in honor of Summer being gone (praise Buddha) and Fall taking its rightful place in my life. The temperature is a cool 64 out with a strong wind (*note it's a wind and not a breeze*). It finally feels like Fall. Hooray!
So here is the song collection, download at will before I take them down.
1. All For Believing -- Missy Higgins
2. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face -- Alison Moyet
3. Till I Can Make It On My Own -- Tammy Wynette
4. The Lines of My Earth -- Sixpence None The Richer
5. April Fools -- Rufus Wainwright
6. The Fox in The Snow -- Belle and Sebastian
7. Cracklin' Rose -- Neil Diamond
8. Flawless (Go The City) -- George Michael
9. Here She Comes -- Kurt Nilsen
10. Come On Home -- Franz Ferdinand
11. Bend and Break -- Keane
12. White Flag -- Dido
13. Angel -- Sarah Slean
14. Leaving on a Jet Plane -- from Armageddon
15. January Rain -- David Gray
16. Time To Say Goodbye -- Sarah Brightman
17. You Raise Me Up -- Josh Groban
18. They Weren't There -- Missy Higgins
I watched the 3rd debate last nite -- the first time in my life that I've ever watched all three debates for a campaign. I have to admit that I think this was the best debate, ranging from topics discussed to focus and conviction presented by the candidates, especially Kerry.
I think that some of the questions that were presented were very direct and "on-the-spot" which I really liked. For example, the question about outsourcing jobs that was given to Bush was awesome, even though Bush danced around the question by turning to education as a solution to the outsourcing. Kerry was honest and said he can't just do away with outsourcing, it's not even a possibility. Good for him -- I wish we could see more of this. Honesty, that is.
That's my biggest issue with the debates. I understand that a lot of people expect the president to be almost a God-figure, but they're human and they are only capable of doing so much. Admit that, please. Don't pull this "I will win the war on terror" bullshit with me. There are SO many factors they have no control over. A simple "We will do our best to pursue the terrorists and destroy their presence in our nation and in the world" would be just fine by me. And Jesus, Kerry, quit saying you're going to KILL the terrorists. That makes me feel uncomfortable.
I think Kerry still has it all over Bush. And I hope the rest of the nation sees that. 98% of my friends and associates are voting Kerry. Of course 95% of them are gay. Speaking of which --
THANK YOU, MR. KERRY, for explaining that homosexuality is not a choice. Your comments were well spoken, and I appreciate your efforts in creating rights for same-sex couples.
I hope everyone is planning on exercising your right to vote on 11/2. Even if you're voting for Bush, you still need to vote. Its the only way our country is goin to recover from this war and progress to something better.
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Well I have been feeling like hell. I imagine the bouqet of praise that I gave to Logan and his family has now smitten my ass and made me feel ill. My stomach is SO upset. It started Monday, and subsided until I had Wendey's yesterday for lunch. Then my kidney started hurting (similar to a kidney stone ... ugh) and my tummy progressively got more and more upset as the day went on.
I woke up this morning in the same state -- but I don't have the squirts or feel like I need to barf. Just meh.
Just meh.
Meh.
David and I were talking today about our reseller status with our hosting company, and we went looking at some of our clients.
We have one client, our very first client, who never paid us. It was a MAJOR site. Full database implementation, logo design, and MAJOR site organization. The bill: $4000.
My first mistake: this was Logan's father we did the work for. We did damn good work too.
My second mistake: Not having a contract with him.
My third mistake: Well, Logan, naturally.
We had originally replaced our work on the host he was using with a "content removed due to failure to make payment" notice. And when we checked it today -- it's gone. And not only that, but the site is redesigned and on another host. I would link the name here -- but I don't want to provide them any more ranking on Google than they have now.
Of course, he didn't use any of our work (which is a good thing). But it pisses me off to no end that he didn't pay us. I'm FUMING.
And ya know, that just gets redirected back at Logan -- and his family. A bunch of mental whackjobs. Logan was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. Emotionally, financially, professionally -- and I have destroyed everything he gave me, or I had of him. Which kind'a makes me mad, cuz I'd really like to destroy something else right now.
So if you see Logan -- spit on him, kick him, hit him with your car -- I really don't care. Just have fun doing it.
I decided to clean my apartment today -- and once I got into it, I decided that it was time for some MAJOR spring cleaning (again). I was moving shit, cleaning under shit, and threw a TON of shit away. Boxes and boxes!
But in the process, I found a "spiritual painting" that was given to me as a gift. Here is what happens: someone calls this lady (her name is Rosie) and tells her your name. That's it. She contacts her special conscientiousness (or whatever) and she learns all sorts of things abouts you, paints it, and then writes up this big as thing in an altered state that describes you.
It is some freaky shit, yo. I'd seen some of the other paintings she's done before and mine was considerably different from the others -- particularly in the fact that there are TWO people in mine. Whatever is that. So here is my painting, and beneath that, what i tried to transcribe (her altered state has some messed up handwriting).
What I see is you are working with your female part of your self and that is an important statement to be making as she is the part of you that brings forth the lover and the creator. This is also a very important part of balance as the God part of you is Balance of all things and the negative is the imbalance.You are coming in on the color of bright blue that is the color that stands for pure spirit and almost always spirit healing walks with the color in the soft white blue. I do not see this teal. I do see navy aspect of energy coming forth. In the paintings, forms come out of forms and continue to change even when dry.
Let’s go down to the bottom of the painting to that area of dark blue, this is the representation of a deep soul, the platform you came to build on and what I call the Waters of your Soul. I also notice your form comes out of one great wave. I feel that you worked and studied and develop this path that you are expressing for a great long time and one day it just burst there, one of a mighty wave of spirit.
I see you as a male here with hair that is thick and down almost to your shoulders. You have a squint in your eyes when you need deep concentration. You look to the right and both hands are extended out with open palms and I hear you came this time knowing well the law of giving and receiving. Your hand position is an open palm for both. If you had a time with either one of these it wasn’t that you could not give or receive, but more that you knew the law so well and it was the very thing you came to do that you got aloof or careless about it. You do see great energy coming out of both of these hands.
One of the things I notice is that you have multiple auras coming from your main form and the main one is that soft orange-white. Orange is central, 2nd chakra, or procreate when it’s at its brightest. When it is this soft color it stands for oneness in the universe, another thing right along with balance we had to do this time. Both yellow and orange are mixed, if you notice. The yellow is coming in on the base of the neck and the orange at the throat chakra. Yellow is wisdom, but yours has a lot of green in it, telling me this is a gift of the mind. The spirit center is at the base of the neck and coming out from your throat so this tells me the throat chakra is open and you will use it. This is your power of who you are and your utility of truth, and you will use your voice or sound to speak, lecture, connect to the oneness in the universe.
Behind you also is the color of soft blue green that stands for creator, creating sound, and spirit music, and sound is a very important aspect coming in at this time. The next color to the orange is the magenta pink, love on earth, and it is saying “I allow you to be who you are” and I feel this is what you are looking to and addressing and giving and receiving. I do see faces all around you, all for you, all looking toward you, and these are the many angelic ones and teachers working with you. The peace spirit form on the top is your female aspect and she is communicating with a large teacher that is bringing in her spirituality. She has long hair, she looks to the left and there is a real sense of softness about her. She is listening but there is a feeling of movement coming from her, more so than from the male part. I see this as also one of the aspects of beauty coming forth that can set off sound, color, movement, or dance.
Over in that soft yellow green area, you will see many faces, some large, some small. All gifts are coming in now with a blink of an eye, and spirit is only asking that we take full responsibility for what comes thru you and to you. Please ask your Beloved Highness “Is this the truth Rosie painted?”
I wish you love, Rosie.
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Yah, we obviously have nothing better to do at work than play with photoshop ...
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So I had another dream last nite. Not about Logan this time, thankfully. Oh no, this was all about my cousin's wedding. I think it's because of the marriage conversation I had with Charley yesterday.
The dream was very vivid, and the scenary was gorgeous. I've been plyaing Myst IV, which is probably why. It was wintery, we were on a lake with a wooden deck that went over it. The lake was partly frozen over, I was standing there looking out -- very reflective. I don't remember it being cold, but it must have been. I was supposed to be there handling the database setup (why a wedding needs a database, i have no idea. That's obviously from my database homework assignment) So I was walking around this place (chapel, maybe) and there were candles alit everywhere.
I walked past these stairs -- and Kermit the Frog was sitting there with a guitar. And he started talking to me, strumming the guitar every once in a while. And then -- he started singing The Rainbow Connection. All of a sudden John Denver appears behind him with this kind'a glowy light around him -- almost like he was being projected -- and he picks up Kermit, and they sing together.
That's really all I remember. But why the hell am I dreaming about John Denver and Kermit!? We have marriage -- me being gay -- Kermit -- John Denver -- databases -- candles -- and the Rainbow Fucking Connection.
Yup, sounds like a confirmation of my homo-ness.
God Give Me Strength -- Alison Moyet
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What in bloody hell!?
A U.S. Senate candidate who said recently that homosexuals should not be teaching in South Carolina's public schools has added another group to his list of poor role models for children -- pregnant women with live-in boyfriends.
I mean, ok -- I can understand not letting fags teach in school, they corrupt like no one else. But going against a single-pregant woman who lives with a boyfriend ... that's just absurd. Maybe she has to teach to support her sex addiction and ended up getting pregnant -- I see no reason why I shouldn't have her teaching my 8 year son. Or maybe she cheated on her husband with the school principle and got pregnant, thus causing a divorce between her and her husband -- still, what reason to forbid her a job as a teacher?
OHHhh puh-lease, you fuckwad senator. What the hell is your problem!? How the hell did a bigot such as yourself get in office -- whom did you sleep with? What is your qualm with your fellow americans that would limit the amount of people willing to teach our young Americans. If your qualm is homosexuality, try targeting the media, not the public school systems.
Geez. Where is good ol' Darwin when you need him?
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I received some spam tonite.
Subject: Promote AIDS Oubreak
The body was an image of generic drugs for Viagra, Cialis, etc.
How disgusting. It makes me absolutely sick that someone is such an ass to send spam like that. I am surprised, however, that e-mail has not been abused to send out racially hateful campaigns in bulk.
But still -- how can someone go to bed at night knowing they have sent that out to millions of people.
Karma's a bitch, yo. Watch your back. God even disapproves. He left me a sticky note on my desk that says "Tsk. Tsk. -- God"
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Today has been a weird day. I woke up from that dream of Logan, which was nothing. But ... perhaps it's the full moon -- or the change in seasons -- but I've just felt weird all day. Not very focused.
I got to work -- remembered to clock in, thank God -- and started chatting with Gavin, my new friend from Scotland. Very nice guy. We seem to have a lot in common. He might be moving to Houston soon. I couldn't imagine wanting to leave Scotland. It's so beautiful over there. (Of course, don't we say that about most places that aren't "home?")
And then ... I got a phone call from Charley -- my best-friend from college. It feels like it's been forever since I talked to him. I haven't seen him in almost 7 years, and we played catch up for an hour. His dad passed away last month of bladder cancer. ... That makes me really sad. And I know Charley has had a rather difficult time in dealing with the loss. (/hug)
He also told me he's engage. November 27th is the date. We talked about marraige -- how he wants kids, but not until he adjusts to married life, and feels he can support (financially) the family. He'll be such an awesome father. We talked about how I (being gay) won't be getting married -- or having kids. He said that if he had one wish it would be that I wasn't gay -- so I could experience the joy of having a wife and children -- a family, if you will.
Of course, that sparks debate. I can still be happy -- and I don't think that having a family is the *ULTIMATE* joy in life. I think it is a very different route that life can take. I mean, a father has a very different life (responsibility-wise) than a single gay man does. Simple fact of life. I would like to have a family -- wife and kids. But I'm afraid I don't work that way. It's not who I am. And it's a part of life I have to adjust to, that is surprisingly somewhat ... difficult.
I also think that there is typically a sense of maturity that sets in when a man gets married. It's not so much "settling down" as it is you have responsibility and a family to provide for. You're no longer an "I" -- you're now a "we."
I'm glad Charley is getting married. I know how much it means to him, and there is nothing more in this world I want than his happiness. He's a very important person to me and has been very influential in my life. I love him dearly, even though he doesn't completely agree with my lifestyle. He loves me and supports me, and that's what counts.
He is going to try to make it down here for a weekend in November, I think, so we can work on some projects he wants to finish (a cd and a website). It will be so nice to see him again ...
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I had a vivid dream last nite ... I can't remember the first part of it, however. I know it took place in a time like when I was in highschool. The only thing I remember about it is the end -- right before I woke up.
It was lunch, and it was really crowded in the cafeteria place where we were. I was walking over to a table of my friends when I hear "Michael!" -- and so I turn around looking to see who was calling me.
"Michael! Michael!"
Ugh. It was Logan. So he grabs his tray which was covered in barbeque baked beans and runs over to see me. For some reason, he was only in a pair of socks -- he slipped and tray of beans goes fling to ground and completely coveres his socks in baked beans orange gunk. He throws his arms around me and just apologizes so hardcore. Crying, weeping, gnashing of teeth -- quite the display of angst.
And I was complacent. Unmoved. Asked him to let go of me -- to which he responded by squeezing harder and more fervent crying. Then I woke up.
Gotta love a dream like that.
So I wake up and I have an e-mail from Adam. He was helping me with a project at work by recording some scenes for me. Here is one of the scenes between Mr. Will Chambers and Nurse Brenda Grace. The boy deserves an emmy - or oscar -- or maybe even a Tony.
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My friend, Rachel, informed me that her friend James (who is working in Florida right now) is actually working with a long-lost friend of mine from highschool. Adam was in the pit band with me -- played the bassoon -- for the really bad high school musical. I know we were together for South Pacific - cuz we used to make fun of this fat girl who would do this hip-bounce right in front of us during the song Honey Bun. (ROFL -- we were SO wrong then. Although, I'm not certain I would do something different were I in the same position.)
We used to have fun together. He was kind'a dorky, I was kind'a dorky -- and kind'a gay. I think he thinks I "dumped" him for some other friends at another school, but it really turns out that I had a boyfriend at another school. And then I graduated ... and we lost touch. I haven't heard from him since I was a senior. I hear he's married now (for a year and a half.) To a girl. (He's not gay.)
So maybe I'll hear from him now. Would be nice to catch up. :) (Hi, Adam! -- email me, yo!)
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I can't believe the weekend is gone and over already. Seems like it is never long enough anymore. I spent my weekend mostly with Rachel, really. We saw Shaun of the Dead and A Dirty Shame on Saturday. Then I had dinner with her and some old high school friends on Sunday nite at her place.
By the way, everyone needs to see A Dirty Shame. It's absolutely hysterical. That is all I will say about it because I really don't want to give anything away. It's fantastic though.
The rest of the weekend I spent finishing up Countywidelawn.com -- the most recent addition to Option9. Other than that -- spent my time playing the new Myst game. It's HARD. I only completed 4 puzzles this weekend. How I LOVE puzzle games ... but these are really hard. And I really hate games where it involves things you don't know -- like, I don't know how to play Chess. So don't give me games where I have to play Chess. We're not all intellectuals here.
Otherwise, I did some searching for some fun videogame mp3s -- and guess what I found ...
The Zelda Medley -- The Harmony Symphony
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As everyone who knows me knows -- I have a certain pet peeve that just fills me with the rage of Zsa Zsa Gabor and Charo's love child.
When I am making a tinkle in a public restroom -- do not talk to me. Do not feel the need to ask me about my day, make light conversation about the upcoming weekend, and look at me in a way that might make the pee stream subside. I will not be nice to you. In fact, you might get a srpay in the face if you aren't careful.
I was in the restroom here at work. And typically -- it's cool, cuz I work in the school of nursing which is dominated (93% or so) by women. Which means there's like all of 5 men on this floor who use the men's restroom. Well -- there's this one old man here (hoary headed and all) whom I've never met, who is obviously gay, and who calls me either by my name -- or guy.
So here's me: standing at the urinal, making a wee, thinking about how I'm glad I had a bottle of water and my pee is so clear and clean. The door flys open and in saunters this old man (whom has now been dubbed "Quentin Crisp" by my coworker friends. We don't know his real name -- we think it's Charles. But Quentin Crsip sounds more fabulous.) So in he comes. "Hey guy ..."
He does not quit talking the whole time I'm peeing -- and in fact, proceeds into the stall directly behind me. I hear him clanking with his belt, etc. and I'm like "Dear God, please don't make me listen to an old gay man take a shit."
I washed my urine-free hands as quickly as possible and litterally ran to the door to avoid the experience of homosexual geriatric defecation.
Disaster avoided.
So I'm walking back to the office and round the corner and almost run right into this woman we'll call "Joyce" -- this very masculine woman (whom we suspect is really a man due to her testosterone-y appearance and pheromone give-off -- or maybe she's just really got it bad with the Muse of Menopause™). Bah, thinking about her makes me want to spit. But that's another entry altogether.
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Every Friday, Alex and I play with our webcams. I took them into photoshop and had some more fun. :) PS -- removing backgrounds with leighs(?) is fucking hard.
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Ah, talent. Where does it come from? Is it a product of environment? -- Something you pick up off the street? Or is talent something you're born with -- something passed down from genertation to generation -- something ... in the blood?
I wonder.
Meet Judy Denmark: a wife and mother leading an idealic suburban life. And although Judy has absolutely no talent whatsoever, her only child -- her daughter, Tina, -- has been blessed with a great deal of talent.
Blessed? Or cursed ... Mwahahahaha ...
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